Jess’ Story
By Emma Laurent
Jess Bradford reached out to Pro-Choice Wyoming to testify against HB00042 & HB00064. After further reflection, she realized telling her story would put her future job prospects with the State Government at risk:
“The State Government as a whole doesn’t like to employ people who appear to be progressive, or that have a stance different than the Freedom Caucus. It feels like the State is in their grip right now, and so expressing myself as a queer person, or expressing myself as an abortion haver or abortion supporter feels like that can affect me outside my personal life. They can affect my professional life. It makes me feel unsafe in my community.”
Jess’s name have been changed for her anonymity.
In 2008, Jess Bradford moved to Laramie, Wyoming, to pursue her degree. She was on her own for the first time, navigating young adulthood, womanhood, and queerdom in new surroundings.
Just shy of her 21st birthday, Jess realized she was pregnant, “When it came time to make a choice, it was not hard alt all. I knew exactly what I needed to do to be okay.”
The idea of pregnancy was really hard on Jess, mentally and emotionally. Her body suddenly belonged to something else. She began to experience suicide ideations, “I felt like I’d been hijacked…I don’t remember a lot of that time because I was just embroiled with conflict inside myself…[I couldn’t] accept the pregnancy….it gave me the heebie-jeebies.”
Jess began to research her options. “It was the Wild West of trying to figure it out. Who can help me get to where I need to be? I called a pregnancy crisis hotline…I thought it was a neutral hotline.” The hotline connected Jess to Heart to Heart, a pregnancy crisis center in Laramie.
When Jess arrived at her first appointment she was immediately handed a rose by a volunteer. “Every mother should have a rose,” she was told. But Jess wasn’t a mother. She was just a college kid seeking medical care.
A different volunteer administered the appointment. The volunteer made it very clear they were not a medical professional. The volunteer rolled in a trans-vaginal ultrasound machine and strongly suggested to Jess that she confirm the pregnancy. The volunteer stated again that they were not a medical professional, so Jess would need to administer the trans-vaginal ultrasound on herself. The volunteer stayed in the room until Jess completed the self-procedure.
The volunteer, who was not a medical professional, read the ultrasound. The volunteer printed Jess a copy of it and made her another appointment to come back in. They sent her home with a blobby print out and more platitutdes of how amazing being a mother would be. Heart to Heart emphasized that God had chosen Jess to be a mother, even though Jess herself had not consented to such a choice.
They made no mention of God choosing the “father,” who was in the midst of being sentenced to prison and would be in no position to raise a child anytime soon.
Thankfully, Jess found support in a friend who took her to Planned Parenthood in Fort Collins. This experience was radically different. Jess had a supportive nurse who reminded her she didn’t need to hold any shame. Jess tried joking her way through the procedure, claiming she would never have sex again. The nurse however reminded her consensual sex is an awesome part of the human experience and sometimes people get pregnant. It’s normal. It happens.
The abortion was painless:
“I remember thinking that this was suppose to be a really big deal. This was suppose to be painful and harmful and I’m suppose to feel guilt about this…And I don’t! I felt less shame then I did coming in here. I felt in charge of my own body gain. I wasn’t at war with it anymore! It was such a huge relief to be done and looking back I wish I had had the tools to be kinder to myself during this time period.”
